A day in the life of shizaya
by the ink of the damaged
Summary: "IZZZAAAAYYAAAAA!"Another chase between the renowned duo of thing Shizuo throws some heavy object and Izaya dodges,plain old ordinary day.But what if this cycle changed?What if the hateful enemies became lovers?What would the ordinary day be like then?...(warning mature language and suggestive themes)
1. waking up

Shizuo groaned as the horrendous light of day shone over his side of the bed._Anything but that_.He wrapped his tired arms around Izaya pulling him closer….._The flea is awfully plush…._As he slowly opened his eyes he was greeted with the sight of a any pillow though,this particularly pillow had a picture on 's smug pictured face smirked back at the now even more irritated blonde._That fucking informant.._ And Shizuo dealt with this anger the only way he knew how,he threw the object of his creating a hole in the wall and a ruined pillow..

"Oh Shizu-chan!~You better not be breaking anymore of my things!Remember our little talk?~"

Grimacing noticeably Shizuo thought to himself _Shit well looks like i've fucked myself for another one of his damn lectures.._Sighing,Shizuo brought himself out of the comfortable..wonderful..cozy.._damn..better stop that thinking or i'll never get up.._

"Shizu-chan…!Hurry up..!Wake that single celled organ you call your brain,and eat the delicious food i've made for you..!"

_He made me what!? _Rushing downstairs at such a miracle,Shizuo was soon greeted by the sight of Izaya slowly pouring his precious milk down the drain.

"THE FUCK IZAYA-KUN!? I'LL KILL YOU!"

As one might _fuckfuckfuckfuck _expect Shizuo _killkillkillkillkillkilll _rushed at Izaya at a very _diediediediedie _ alarming _giveitbackgiveitback_ ,because of course he expected and calculated for this Izaya quickly spun on his heel,resulting in Shizuo now running straight into the metal sink.

"Oh my my~Shizu-chan,now really?~This milk is expired anyway I was doing you a favor~!"

"I BROUGHT THAT YESTERDAY YOU FLEA!"

With a feinging look of innocence,Izaya dramatically replied,"Oh it is?My poor mind,where could it possibly have been?I'm sorry my lovely little monster~"

"You knew quite well Flea!Don't you dare even lie to me!"

Izaya threw Shizuo the biggest saddest puppy eyes he could muster,adding slight tears to his large shojo eyes for extra effect."B-b-b-but sh-shizu-c-chan..I was just t-trying to look after y-you.."

Shizuo's anger faltered and a blush quickly grew onto his cheeks._G-goddamn it.. _"F-f-f-fin-e fle-flea.." He looks away as though he can hide his bright red face.

The tears seemingly forgotten,Izaya"s signature smirk quickly made its reappearance.

"Shizu-chan how nice of you!~You know sometimes predictability isn't a bad thing~hehe"

The color that covered his face quickly drained as he realised how badly he'd been played._damn bastard.._

"Oh he's pissy now!"Smirk only widening,"Here if it makes you feel better have a red apple,It's better than those damn sweets you eat all the time!~"

_Tch..don't bag on my sweets.._

Seeming to know his Shizu-chan's thoughts Izaya neatly tossed the apple onto his lover's head hitting him square in the face.

_**I never miss**__._


	2. brushing teeth

"Come on Shizu-chan you don't want cavities..!"

_**And I don't really want you to be hurt by that...although it could be a little amusing..**_"I'm coming!So hold your fucking horses."

By the time Shizuo made his way to the bathroom Izaya was already engaged in the most interesting act-brushing one's grabbed his toothbrush before walking over to the mirror...the mirror that Izaya was hogging.

"Oi Flea move out of the way"

Izaya simply looked at Shizuo as though he told a joke,"Now Shizu-chan that's would a GOD such as myself move out of the spotlight for a monster~?"

_This is the side of you that annoys me so much..tch.._

Giving a little shove with his elbow Shizuo gained some mirror glared at the blonde for his somewhat victory_.__**Now this won't do.**_The raven haired man ducked underneath the porcelain sink,only to come creeping up in front of Shizuo now taking up his newly acquired mirror territory.

The man in question narrowed his eyes at the informant's actions.

"No monsters in the closet,no monsters under the bed,no monsters in the mirror staring at me!~"Said informant happily sang.

Shizuo inwardly smirked to himself as he towered over Izaya his toothbrush hanging from his mouth as casually as his cigarettes.

"Now there's a monster in the you better quiet shut the hell up."

Izaya pouted and tried to push Shizuo away from the which Shizuo returned by pushing back at Izaya.

_**Stupid Shizu-chan stop trying to be better..!**_

_Goddamn flea..i am NOT going to sit here and take that shit..!" _

This cycle continued for a minute or so,each push becoming rougher and more demanding,until as most would guess Shizuo pushed a tad bit too leads us to why there is now a flea in the wall._Ooops…_

But not to worry Izaya woke up 2 days later with a splitting headache in Shinra's house as Shinra looked over him like he won the lottery.

"I took a lovely blood sample from you!~"

_**Goddamnit.**_


	3. showering

Shizuo grabbed his spare set of clothes bracing himself before opening the door connecting his room to the living you ask?That's was in the living room._Better get it over with. _The blonde quickly walked from his room heading towards the bathroom trying to be as quiet as possible,as to not alert the flea of his one would expect this was informantant looked up from his computer and his smirk grew.

"Oh Shizu-chan~what do you think you're doing?" _Shit…_

"Why the hell should I tell you?"Shizuo stated more than asked as his left eye twitched in what could be called nervousness.

"Well let's see~you're in my house ,I want to three,you know that i'm already aware of what you're doing so why not say it?"

"Fine,i'm taking a fucking shower,so fuck off."

Izaya smirked and his eyes narrowed,"We could take one together Shizu-chan~"

It didn't take long for the blonde to turn red and throw the closest object to him at the raven haired just so happened to be one of Izaya's knifes.

"D-damnit flea..!Shut the hell up!"

Izaya ducked,dodging his own knife that had been aimed at his he tried to fight off the sense of irony.

"Tsk Tsk Shizu-chan,using one of my own weapons against me?Now now that is not permitted by your god-"

The raven was cut off from finishing his sentence as Shizuo glared at him and interrupted his egotistic speech.

"Who ever said you were my god,you're just a flea."

"Hmm yes~Well I do believe that YOU are the one that called me your god last night~You know after we switched positions~?"

The blonde's cheeks suddenly erupted in a red blush,to which the raven haired man quite enjoyed.

After Izaya finished taunting and laughing at his poor monster he turned to Shizuo and told him,"you can go take that shower now"_**I have cameras in there anyways.**_

_I'll kill that fucking flea this time! I swear I will!Putting goddamn fucking cameras in the fucking bathroom!DO I NOT HAVE ANY PRIVACY?!_ Some inner part of his mind reminded Shizuo that he was with Izaya,I mean what else should he expect?Well apparently Shizuo had not expected more he thought about it the angrier he then as he was hanging on the edge of what we know as self control he had a wonderful,marvelous would get Shizuo knew that the raven would weigh himself after every bath and/or shower he what better way to mess with him then to flip the scales so to say?

Shizuo walked calmly into the bathroom ready to start putting his plan in action._The flea is always busy at this time on his work days..it's now or never._Shizuo pulled the balance out of it's hiding spot under the bathroom turned the machine over and quickly began to tinker with it._Nothing too drastic or he'll notice.._After all the pieces were set correctly and the balance put back with care,the monster was ready to see this turn of the game board play only had to hope Izaya wouldn't notice anything that would prevent his revenge from working._The flea takes his bath at 7:30...I have 3 minutes...alright._The blonde left the bathroom as nonchalantly as he went in..only this time it was hard to not watched the minutes and tick by until Izaya walked into the room,and then into the bathroom._Now I wait…_

**A bit of time later….**

The debt collector smiled as he heard the water being turned off and the balance being taken a teenager he sneaked up to the bathroom door and looked through the informant was just about to step on the balance…._Come on just step on the goddamn balance_.._!_ ..and he did,and waited for the small beep to alert him of his weight.

"bbbeeeepp!"

The raven haired man looked down at the small numbers displayed on the screen...and then proceeded to scream.

"There is nooooo way I weigh THAT much!"

Shizuo couldn't hold his laughter in anymore and it erupted from his stomach and became a loud ringing laugh.

"This is not funny protozoan!"

"It's pretty goddamn funny!"this reply was followed by even more laughter.

"It is not !Do you see this thing..?!"The paranoia in Izaya's speech was extremely easy to pick up it was due to this paranoia that he threw the balance at Shizuo's head.


	4. shopping

"Oi Flea!" Shizuo called from the kitchen,"We're out of milk and sweets!"

Izaya upon hearing this simply put a hand to his forehead and sighed dramatically as usual."Why don't you go buy some?Or is that too complicated for you to handle?~"

"Fucking..No it's not too fucking complicated!"

_**How I love to tease him..**_"Well I should accompany you just to make sure you don't screw up now shouldn't I?" The obvious smirk on his face growing wider.

Shizuo "tched"as a somewhat reply,and started to walk towards the his annoyance forgetting to take his wallet with him.A grave mistake.

"Ohhh Shizu-chan!~"

"What do you want now?!"

"Aren't you forgetting something very important~?Perhaps some money?"The pest asked teasingly as he showed off the wallet.

The blonde inwardly groaned knowing that he will never hear the end of then walked over and proceeded to rip the wallet out of the raven's hands,much to the amusement of the mentioned raven.

Shizuo now proceed to attempt to storm out of the apartment,but his devilious lover would have none of that. HIs lover wasn't quite ready to give up on the fun he was having teasing the poor blonde.

"Leaving without a goodbye kiss,or at least a farewell?How horrible of you you trying to break my poor defenseless heart?!~"The raven swooned dramatically.

Shizuo sighed in annoyance,"Do I really need to do something as repulsive as that?"Izaya beamed and again the former bartender sighed.

"Goodbye Flea."This time Shizuo succeeded in leaving the apartment-but too bad for Shizuo, he could still hear Izaya yell after him,"You forgot my kiss!~"

"Stupid Izaya.."The half hearted mumble was followed by a series of mumbles about said these mumbles even if they were complaints made the blonde smile -in the mumbling was continued all the way to the grocery store. Swarms of people parted when they realised Shizuo Heiwajima was out and was of course unnoticed by Shizuo, he had gotten used to it at this point.

He quickly went about his business but there were slight difficulties. For example Shizuo spent a good 10 minutes in the sweets isle trying to choose out of which of these delicious and scrumptious delights he was going to have, or if Izaya liked fatty tuna or spicy,for he couldn't seem to remember...but that wasn't the biggest difficulty. What is that difficulty you might ask,well when Shizuo went to check out his cashier checked him out as well. Not knowing of his reputation the fairly pretty girl cashier began to flirt with the did she know that said blonde's lover was watching this happen through his favorite pair of binoculars._**First he gets fucking spicy tuna and now this person is trying to flirt with him...oooh I can't let that happen ~**_ So as the cashier flirted and Shizuo obviously didn't realise,a flick blade came slicing through the air,giving the girl an early haircut and landed right in front of girl now stood shaking and on the verge of passing out from mere debt collector sighed,_I'm going to hear about something when I get home…._and with that thought Shizuo apologized to the girl and went on his merry way.


	5. Home alone

"Shizu-chan! I'm off to run some errands,I'll be back soon so try not to destroy the place while i'm gone"

Shizuo heard the door close before he could respond to Izaya,"Stupid ass..i'm not going to break anything….I hope." Today was Shizuo's day off. So he had .Do.

"Well this is boring as fuck.".._Well what can I do.._ He looked to the t.v.._That could work._. But it went something like this, "This is stupid,why are they doing that? What's with all this sex?! Why the hell are these girls pregnant?!...I don't understand this..!" This is why the couple now have to get a new remote…and a new television. The seconds after this dragged along in horrible boredom, so when Shizuo glanced over at Izaya's office table, more importantly the bright shiny computer on it..You can see why it may lead to what happened next. _I don't think he'd realize. _As casually as a child stealing a cookie,Shizuo walked over to the computer and sat down in the surprisingly comfortable spinny chair that Izaya seemed to adore so blonde could hear his rising pulse rate ring in his ears. Doing this was just the tiniest bit nerve racking. _Alright so maybe It felt a bit rebellious..but all I was doing was going on the computer that can't be a crime right?..Yeah that's what I'll tell him if ….when..he finds yeah,that sounds good._

Convincing himself of this the blonde turned on the power button, waiting for the computer to start up. What he didn't remember was that Izaya has a password to his when the little box demanding he enter the password popped up,the color in Shizuo's face drained and he stared blankly at monitor…_..A..w-what….?..._Little did Shizuo know but his so called 'flea' had just arrived home, and was now standing behind the former bartender,simply watching what he was ? Well he wanted to see this play out.

The blonde tried to think of what possibly could be Izaya's password..".fatty tuna...no...ummm…..switchblade...no..eskimo?!...No?!" The vein above Shizuo's eye popped and rage filled him. "The hell is the password?!"...Like an oversized child the fortissimo of Ikebukuro huffed and crossed his arms in a way that closely resembled a hissy fit. Shizuo glared at the laptop in front of him as though it may magically reveal the password if he did so.

Izaya smirked and put his hand to his mouth,attempting not to laugh at his monster's failed efforts. To his luck his so-called-monster was far too angry to notice the dark haired man's whisper of a laugh.

The aforementioned monster suddenly jumped up from his seat on the chair and declared, "I need pudding!"

Izaya quickly ducked out of sight so that Shizuo wouldn't notice him as he stormed to the kitchen._**I can almost see the trail of wreckage and debris following him~**_While he had some time the informant quickly typed in his password and scrolled over to his settings,_**Let's see how he likes this**_ He smirked and suppressed an overwhelming urge to giggle.

Hearing Shizuo's footsteps Izaya quickly rushed underneath his office table, just in time to see the blonde sit down in his chair.

Blinking at the screen,this blonde had no time to wonder why or how the password had been entered as he saw the screensaver of this computer. _He's dead meat when he gets home! _His eyebrows knitted together in anger while squeezing the life out of his poor defenseless pudding cup. On the screen was a picture of . _he's been taking fucking pictures of me while i'm sleeping?! Do I have no moments to myself?!_ His rising frustration reached it's peak when he grabbed the godforsaken computer and lifted it above his head.

Izaya's eyes widened and he called out,"Stop I need that for work you stupid protozoan!"..He quickly covered his mouth,realizing he had given himself away.

Shizuo dropped the computer somewhat haphazardly back on the desk and blinked once.

"Flea…?"..He lowered himself so he could look under the gulped.

Izaya knowing that his original plan of watching longer was foiled,switched was sitting with his back straight and his hands on his hips,with the most stern glare he could make.

The blonde's head lowered,"You saw all that..didn't you…?"

"Yes.I tell me,why did you go on my computer in the first place."

The man in question quickly racked his brain for an acceptable excuse,"I was..umm...checking some shit of mine!..Yeah...yeah..That's it!"

The informant sighed and shook his head,"Never commit a serious crime are a horrible liar."Izaya looked to Shizuo and smirked, "And for all of that you'll have to be punished...hmm..how about I get rid of all the sweets in this house for a week?~"

It was Shizuo's turn to have his eyes widened to the size of plates,"That's torture!You just don't do that!"

"Well doesn't it just stink to be you?~"


End file.
